Is your cat secretly bossing you around? Look for these signs
Suzy Godsey
Dogs have owners and cats have slaves, so the saying goes. Perhaps there is truth to it since some people would not dare to give their cat commands ― you must be dreaming even to suggest it! Typically, cats are seen as aloof creatures who give affection on their terms.
Having lived with cats for years, I know from experience that many common myths are unfounded. My perspective is that all animals recognize the energy of leadership. If you are willing to be the leader, a horse, dog, bird or person knows it. Now, cats may require a little bit more persuasion (or manipulation) AND it is still possible to lead them.
First, let’s look at whether your cat has you wrapped around their paws. You can tell by these clues.
1 You keep trying to tempt their appetite
A friend inherited a cat that was picky about its food. Later on, after the cat died, my friend commented that although she was sad, she was going to save a lot of money. Naturally, I asked what she meant. "Well, my cat was a fussy eater, so I used to buy different food to tempt her appetite," my friend responded.
Cats can be very finicky. Unlike most dogs, they won't happily eat the same food day in and day out. To me, this is one of their gifts. Cats can be great teachers. They invite us to be more aware of their requirements rather than routinely deliver the same dishes. In different seasons we change our diet, why shouldn't our animals do the same?
When I used to go shopping for cat food, I’d look at the food on the shelves and ask some questions of myself. What food would my cat like this time? Interestingly, I would buy different kinds of food which they enjoyed. As you may know, it’s possible to energetically tune into our animals simply by asking a question because we’re already connected. What if we challenged ourselves to be more aware? For our animal’s sake if not our own.
2 You’re upset when your cat doesn’t do what you say
Have you noticed that when most people speak to our animals it’s to give a command? “Come! Sit. Fetch! Dinner time!” Dogs seem to tolerate this but cats don’t respond well to being commanded. Clearly, we must take another and more persuasive approach.
My cat Bubba taught me that if I gave her a choice to do something she would invariably do it.
For example, I could never order her to jump on the bed and spend time together. But if I said, "Hey Bubba, would you like to jump on the bed? Only if you want to!" She would do it. Bubba wasn't a lap cat strictly speaking but she could be affectionate.
If we take animal training too seriously, it gets boring very quickly. Whereas if we request by asking playfully, "Will you do this for me? How about having some fun together?" they are more likely to play along. The less demand, force, or expectation behind your request, the more successful you will be. (By the way, this applies to human relationships too!)
One thing to remember is don't expect an animal to go against their nature. If your cat loves to hunt rodents or birds, they won't stop just because you ask them nicely. What else is possible in such a situation? What if you could have a different conversation with your cat and found a way that works for both parties? For instance you could say to your animal, 'I know you love to hunt and please any remains (or mice) outside.'
3 You go out of your way NOT to displease your cat
As surprising as it seems, some people don’t go on holidays or disrupt their routine for fear of upsetting their pets. To me, leadership is about including animals in our lives and making them part of the family. I won’t turn my life upside down to please my animals, nor do they require that.
Cats are not better than us, although they do have mystical talents and abilities. Ancient Egyptians believed that cats came from a place beyond death. There are several Egyptian myths and legends involving cats. According to a certain myth, one of the gods took on the shape of a cat and gave birth to 9 other gods. Is this why we say cats have 9 lives? It’s very possible but still no reason to be bossed around by cats.
Animals empower us to new possibilities and this includes being better communicators and leaders.
If we didn't have to boss our cats or be bossed, could we simply celebrate their difference? What different space and communication is available with the cats around us?